Just because you have time for a mid life crisis
by ElectricBlueRainbow
Summary: Just because you have time for a mid life crisis, doesn’t mean we all have to put our lives on hold for it! When Leo Wyatt think's he has it all, he was never further from the truth. But now can he find what he truely wants?
1. It's not lying it's being vague

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"**Just because you have time for a mid life crisis, doesn't mean we all have to put our lives on hold for it!"**

**Chapter One: _It's not lying it's being vague. _**

"I own one of the biggest homes in L.A, my wife is beautiful, my job pays me enough in a year for me to retire, I have several sports cars and yet I'm not happy. What's wrong with me?"

"Mr. Wyatt I'm afraid to say it's not that easy to fix your life by admitting your unhappy, there's not a simple answer I can give you that will solve it all for you. That's why you're here sir," that's the voice of my shrink, Mr. K Auburn. The most expensive and probably boring physiatrist in the whole state, but still if anyone can fix it it's him right? "when did you first star feeling this way? Do you feel there was anything that may of triggered these feeling for you sir?" I hate that 'sir,' I'm a person not just a suit.

"I dunno, that's why I came here," my voice sounds tired but that's not his falt so I try again, "I'm a lawyer for one of the biggest music companies in the world, yet I can't remember the first time I listened to something that I wasn't having to work for. Music was once so special to me, and now it's work."

"What made music so special for you?" _God what's this guy want my life story? _"can you give a example of the last time you felt truly '_connected'_ to your music?"

Considering I work day in and day out with people who choose to talk this way about a few notes, I still find it had to express my own feelings to something that one dominated my life. "I guess at college, me and my best mate Cole we where in a band, I sang and played guitar, he played bass, another guy Dan well we only had him cos he could play drums not that we liked him. quiet

Similar to most bands now a days," I chuckle he still looks dead. "When I sang I felt free, I was untouchable by anything, like when I first go into the court room and nothing can touch me. But now it's lost the glam my life use to have it's just a room, like it's just a guitar."

He scribbles down some notes, I swear he's making pretty pictures on that thing, and just as I try to peer over try to see what he's really up to, the board snaps back and his head snaps up. I smile uncomfortable, and he returns the favour. "have you ever thought maybe that the reason you felt connected to 'life' as it where at these times wasn't due to what you were doing but who you were with, you've previously mentioned this Cole guy in several of your more positive memories," _that's probably because I grew up with him! _"how is your relationship with him now?"

_Well he married a sister to the women I loved, and then broke the heart of. I dumped him like a bag of bricks when I got the opportunity to work for a big lawyer firm shooting through the dream of me and him owning are own practise. An I haven't seen him for 7 years, they haven't seen me though for ten._

"I'd call it on rocky times at he moment," I don't lie I'm just vague.

"I see…" _again he's scribbling something, _"you know Mr. Wyatt we would get a lot further with these sessions if you told me the truth. But until then, that will be another appointment in two weeks time…" I stand up shake the man's hand, it's all very formal. I push on the handle of the door and he speaks, "you know Leo," the first time he's ever used my first name, "I don't think you need a Dr. I think you need a friend, and I think you should start with that _rocky relationship_, or at least turn on the radio once in a while. Don't you think?"

"I think I'm paying you to be a shrink, not a friend Dr. I'll see you in two weeks." I closed the door. An it hit me, I had got everything I'd always wanted, I should of be happy, but it turned out I had wanted the wrong things for too long.

Chapter two...

_Please comment so i know your reading this, as well as what you think thanks. _


	2. If I tell myself it, it has to be true

**Chapter two: if I tell myself it, it has to be true. **

"SHIT! Look John can you open up tonight without me? I just gotta go do something but I'll be back as soon as possible I promise." John looked blankly at her, he'd only worked there for a week "please?" she was desperate and he could tell.

"Yeah ok,"

"Thank you," Jesus she thought before rushing out of the doors of P3, she got her mobile out and automatically sent the pre-saved text message to Dan:

_I'm obviating get home now! _

her car skidded in to their drive way, and so practically took the door of it's hinges trying to get through it while slipping of her shoes, despite Dan not being there yet she was still in a rush to get to sex. But as she burst through the door she was amazed to here the T.V happily playing away. She walked slowly into the lounge, expecting perhaps Dan but never what met her eyes.

"Hay sis," Paige lay happily on the sofa eating peanut sandwiches and wearing snoopy pyjamas.

"Paige what the hell are you doing here at this time of day?" Piper had only just told her sisters she was trying to get pregnant, although she had been trying for nearly 6 months now, so to explain this was going to be hard.

"Watching T.V, what you doing here..? Hay is your top undone?" her sister looked at her more suspicious, and Piper knew no matter what older sister power she held over Paige when they were younger it wasn't as easily used now.

"I'm…. I'm obviating if you really have to know," as serious as she said it. Her little sister seemed to still find that the funniest thing she had ever heard.

"Like those weirdo's on TV who rush how to get laid, just cos their tempeture ha like gone up 2 degrees," Paige looked at her grinning in laughter, then her face became more serious. "you been serious?"

"Yes thank you very much, I'm serious about wanting this child, and yeah if that means rushing home when my tempeture goes up then yeah I'm a fucking weirdo!" she had lost it, for the past 6 months her hopes of a daughter had been dashed and every time the stick read negative it was as though another dagger had been placed in her heat.

"I'll be off then, er…. See you later." and with that Paige made a swift exit. Piper felt miserable, she couldn't ever tell her sister what was going on, let alone tell Dan how she felt. The man of her dreams, and yet her body just wouldn't allow her to have his kid. It taw her apart mentally, emotionally and physically. She couldn't sleep, her dreams where plague with children, and men, men of her past. Men she shouldn't of thought of any more. But still did.

But once again now wasn't the time for those thoughts, now wasn't the time for much. She slipped upstairs as she heard Dan's truck pull up, and undressed she had to focus, it was him she loved, it always had been. An all she wanted was to have a child with him, if she kept telling herself that maybe she would believe it.


	3. Why aren’t you here?

**Chapter three: Why aren't you here?**

**10 years ago:**

_Leo Wyatt:_

**"Leo do something!" **I can't though, I can't heal her, I can do nothing. I look up through red eyes and watch her explode with pain. Why can't I heal her, why? I look above me, why wont they help, please help me! But there is no reply, the tears and screams of pain around me are drowned out as I feel it, I feel she is gone and before the grief of loss finally hits them I orb out. I can not deal with the loss again, I have failed.

I didn't return till the funeral a week later. I arrive just as the last are walking in, I follow and sit at the back. I don't say a word, I just sit and watch. They are all there in the front row, they all cry, I just sit.

At the end as they all leave she sees me and I freeze. Her eyes fix cold on mine, and I know she blames me, I bow my head din shame and when I peer up she's gone. I leave, I have nothing else to say, she will never forgive, I have lost everything.

I left, left a note to Cole, apologising, and saying sorry. I try to write to Piper but all I manager was a tear filled piece of paper with 'sorry. I love you.' I meet with the elders, they agree. I clip my wings and left, I left my family, friends and the first women I loved. I ran as far as I could, I ended up in L.A.

**Today:**

She plagues my dreams, my life, I see her everywhere I look. An I feel ashamed, I never had my wings unclipped, I could never let anyone down like I had done to her. She haunts my thoughts, my kisses to Lillian are occupied by her, I feel her touch in my dreams, and I see those crying eyes when I close mine, I feel like im suffocating every time I think of her. I can't breath, I need to see her. To see she's ok, to feel her, just to hear her voice.

But mostly to say I'm sorry.

_Piper Gordon: _

**Ten years ago **

_Piper Gordon: _

My oldest sister died, and I lost her. Those who should of saved her didn't, and ran like the coward they really were. I was lost after it all, and the only person who could put me back together was Dan, the pieces never fitted right I'll admit that, but he tried and he did the best he could. I never heard from that man again, he ran, he ran from it all. He never explained why she had to die, I know there was a reason, but I wish I had more time to say goodbye. I wish it hadn't happened that way, I wish he had saved her. I know now he couldn't but I wish he had explained, he had at least tried. He broke my heart, he broke my soul, and left me in more pieces than I ever knew.

**Today**

this is her day, and I refuse to allow him to ocupie today, he isn't allowed to ocupie any day. I dress smartly, before Dan leaves I go. I want to be alone today, I don't ant anyone. I arrive once again at the gates, with the fresh flowers, and I walk gently over the ground. The grass has been cut, and all feels fresh. A tear comes to my eye as I see the memorial, I see her in my mind. I cry as I get to it, "why aren't you hear when I need you most? I can't stop thinking about him, about this child, this child I want but don't. I'm so confused Prue why aren't you here?"

_thanks for all the reviews they've been great, please keep reading and lwttign me know what you think. thanks everyone me xxx_


	4. Those things that happen

**Chapter Four: Those things that happen when your not there.**

A white room, I can see no end to it, there are no walls, no ceiling just what I think is a floor. Everything merges into it's self. An it's all white.

"Thank you for coming Mr. Wyatt." I see no one just the white, I feel a presence someone is near by, someone I know, someone from along time ago though. "We are glad you could make it, we did fear that it wouldn't be this easy…. So are sometimes quite stubborn."

"What do you want with me?" I fear the worse, I fear it's them. "who are you?" silence followed for several minutes, "WHO ARE YOU!"

"Leo please don't flatter us, you know exactly who we are."

"Then show yourselves…" again silence came. "I SAID SHOW YOURSELF." An as though by magic, a group of twenty or so men and women appeared, each dressed in a gold gown, that hung from their heads lower to the floor where it was draped across the floor. "What do you want from me?"

"One of the golden heads looked up and with a voice that sounded as though it had been insulted said, "we want nothing from you Leo."

"Then what do you want?"

Another of the hoods stepped forward, "it is not us you need to understand Leo, that asks for you but a higher power. A power that has watched you and others for a long time, they have asked for us to gather you here today, for this. They have asked for your help."

"An if it's them asking then why can they not appear to me today? Or are they to high up for that, have a become just a mere mortal to you all?"

"Oh Leo you were never a mere mortal, they have asked for us to speak to you first, they said they shall come to you in their own time. But before this you have to understand."

"Understand what"

"While you have been a way a lot has changed in the world, even we have changed." and then it hit Leo one of the greatest men he had ever known, his mentor and guidance was not there. "Some of us have moved on, others have found others powers, other powers in not so peaceful worlds. Some have left our fight and with them many have been lost. You see Leo, when you left we lost a lot more than a white lighter, we lost a which, and with her the Charmed one's."

"But I thought they could still be made, with Prue lost I thought Paige was able to take her lace, that they would still be able to fight."

"Without Prue yes the Charmed one's could go on, but it wasn't Prue who had left." Leo ran the comment over in his mind, and as he realised the pieces fitted, "Piper left. She refused to fight, she binded her powers."

Leo's eyes opened, his body became bolt up-right, and to his surprise he was in bed, a cold sweat running down his face, and a feeling f absolute sorrow in his heart. What had happened, what had he done to cause all this? Where was Piper, was she still alive now? Where her sisters safe? What had he done.

_sorry it took so long to write this chaopter i had to decided where to take it next lol, hope all are well. Thanks for the reviews please keep doing so. _

_thanks again and hope you enjoyed. _


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